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Action Before Reaction by Janice Seagraves

Action before reaction 

By Janice Seagraves 

Going through edits for the first time was an eye opening experience to my own mistakes.

Have you ever written anything like this?

Example: Megan screamed as a big, ugly boar stuck its head in the tent opening. 

Do you see what's wrong here?

I didn’t.

My editor pointed out that Megan reacts by screaming, before the action. The boar’s head is even in the tent yet, before she's screaming her head off.

 Always, she told me, remember action before reaction.

Correct: A big, ugly boar stuck its head through the tent opening. Megan screamed.

Always put the action first.

Whether you follow up with action, emotion or internal thought, the action (boar) that provoked the reaction (scream) has to come first.

Ah, I got it.

Here’s the scene with the corrections:

Correct: Just as the sky started to lighten, Megan woke to a grunt and a rustling noise just outside her tent. “Who’s there?” She quickly unzipped her tent.

A big, ugly boar stuck its head through the opening. Megan screamed.

“Huh?” grunted the scarred boar. It tried to hook her with its tusk.

“Get out! Get out!” Megan shrieked, scrambling back to reach under her pillow. She heard something ripping as she jerked her head back to the tent opening.

The pig had gotten a tusk stuck in the tent’s door flap. It whipped its head back and forth, trying to get loose.

“Damn wanker,” she yelled. “You’re tearing my tent.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Windswept Shores: http://pinkpetalbooks.com/Windswept-Shores-Janice-Seagraves.html

Also available at Smashwords, Diesel, All Romance and for the kindle at Amazon.

My website: http://janiceseagraves.org/

Book trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XUAMBhl76k

Sorry for the Quickie!

What have I been up to in the last month? Well let’s see. I gave birth to our darling little daughter. Teagan arrived 4 ½ weeks early, but is thriving and growing like a weed. It was scary going into labor so early, but it all worked out.
Other than taking care of a newborn, I’ve been busy working on a deadline. I have a contract for a handyman story. It’s like one of those home improvement shows you’d see on the Home Improvement channel. I’m just about done with self-edits and hope to have it in my editors hands by Monday. They’d had originally hoped to have it to final edits by Aug 19th, but the early arrival slowed things down a bit. lol Oh well, nothing I can do.
So this post is going to be brief because I have to go back to my writer’s cave while all is quiet and finish as much as I can.
Until next month!

2010 At An End

On this eve of New Year's Eve, 2011, I am reminiscing and giving thanks to a year of good health, a still working imagination and wherewithall to use it. A list, checked and added to more than twice in 364 days in 2010 begins with thanks for still being in business as an independent bookstore owner. Yes, Virginia, there are still readers in the world! There aren't many Nook or Kindle owners in my little Ozark town, just readers who like to go about it the old-fashioned way, for which I say hooray!

And to the readers of my books, I raise a glass brimming with appreciation. I write because I love it and because I have a huge collection of 'people' running around in my mind, talking to me at all hours about very personal things and they want their stories told. How wonderful to have others besides me interested in what they have to say. Thank you, thank you.

To Leanne Burroughs, chief editor of Highland Press, thank you for inviting my stories to be part of HP's family of authors. Patti Howell, my editor, a thousand thank yous for your insights, opinions and wise words, and to Lightning Press, I thank you for turning those words into well organized, nicely bound pages.

To my family near and extended, much gratitde for support, encouragement and promoting what you believe to be stories everyone you know needs to read.

To all you writers, may 2011 bless you with continued opportunities to write your stories of the heart and to our readers, keep picking up those books!

Polly