Kitchen Counter Wisdom

The best memories I have of my mother were of our morning tea drinking sessions during my teen years. We sat on bar stools at the kitchen counter, each drinking two or three cups of hot milky tea. Those were the best conversations we ever had, and I recall them to this day.

There was no telling where our conversations would go, but invariably she wove some real life wisdom into the theme of the day by the time we finished drinking cup number two.

Ours was a complex relationship. As a child I couldn’t understand her, and was always trying to avoid her sudden outbursts. These days, I understand her better. Her role in my life was largely as a negative role model, meaning she taught me more about how I did not want to be than how I did want to be. I’m very thankful to her for that.  

Colombian emeralds were my mother’s favorite gem stone. My father gifted her several stunning sparklers over the years. Emeralds are said to aid in faithfulness and forecasting, and she was both a very faithful wife, and a gifted psychic. She often forecast the future from across the kitchen counter, and her perceptions were usually accurate. Unfortunately, she was afraid of her psychic abilities and shut them down in the end.

She always took great pride in her garden, especially her tropical flowers. Geraniums, hibiscus, bougainvillea, birds of paradise and lilies of the valley were her favorites. Spending time with her flowers brought her more happiness than almost anything else.

A quirky fact about her is that she had a wild pet lizard named Lizzie. He lived under our outdoor refrigerator on the patio. Every morning around 11am he came out and awaited her. She gave him bread and he gobbled it up. He was the biggest lizard ever. There was a great bond between my mother and the lizard, and this continued for years.

Mother, May I…..? Questions I Should Have Asked My Mother

She was a very tense and intense woman, and believed children should be seen and not heard. My brother and I were never allowed to ask questions while growing up.

She’s been gone for nearly thirty years already. She had breast cancer in her mid-forties, and was told to stop smoking if she wanted to improve her chances of survival. Defiant to the end, she told the doctor she’d rather die with a cigarette in her hand. A decade later she died of lung cancer.

There are many questions I’d love to ask her. Some are too private, but here are a few.

Why Did You Never Let Me Learn To Cook?

Why Did You Keep Smoking After Breast Cancer?

Why Didn’t You Open The Antique Shop You Always Wanted?

Why Did You Send Us Away To Boarding School When You Were So Lonely?

I wouldn’t trade my mother for anything. So now, I raise a toast with a hot cup of milky tea and say~To Mary~I love you.

GEMMA JULIANA is a multi-published author who lives in an enchanted cottage in Texas with her handsome hero, teen son and a comical dog. She loves making new friends and hearing from readers. Exotic coffee and chocolate fuel her creativity. You can buy Gemma’s books on Amazon.  

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Mothers and Mother's Day

During the month of May we honor mothers and those who have nurtured us with a loving maternal influence.

The definition of mother is a woman who has given birth, raised a child or donated an egg that created a child, according to Wikipedia. That definition got me thinking about how things have changed in the past decade or so. 

There are now same sex marriages where two women or two men raise children. Just a few days ago, the news reported that scientists have created the first synthetic DNA in a lab. Projecting into the future, perhaps the day will come when synthetic wombs or cocoons exist, and the most vital physical role of the woman as mother—co-creating a new being—will become redundant. Will mothers be needed anymore?

The role of motherhood has changed considerably in recent times in the western world. There are fewer stay-at-home mothers always on call. The majority of moms are career women who juggle a job, motherhood, as well as being wife and lover to an equally busy mate. In most other parts of the world, women must conform to specific religious and cultural beliefs connected to motherhood. Life can still be hard for these women, and childbirth is a dangerous undertaking that carries a high mortality rate for both mother and child. A mother’s life is played out against a backdrop of lack, worry, disease and often intimidation.  

The emotional role of the one who plays mother in our lives is complex. After giving birth, nearly two decades are devoted to nurturing, protecting, teaching, giving and loving. This involves large doses of creativity, selflessness, sacrificing and giving.

Some of us have not had positive experiences with our own mothers, but almost everyone can remember a female who fulfilled some of these needs in our lives. An aunt or grandmother, or maybe it was a teacher or older lady friend.

I can’t close this post without honoring the one mother who nourishes us all, and gives selflessly no matter how much we harm her. Mother Earth, the ‘spirit’ of our beloved planet. We all share this one mother, so let’s do our best to honor her and give back to her in any way we can, by living consciously and letting gratitude ripple out from our hearts to hers.

Do you have a favorite memory of your mother you'd like to share? Do you write mothers into your stories?

 

GEMMA JULIANA is a multi-published author who lives in an enchanted cottage in north Texas with her handsome hero, brave teen son and a comical dog who is really a human in disguise. She loves making new friends and hearing from readers. Exotic coffee and dark chocolate fuel her creativity. She writes romance, mystery and suspense with a splash of the paranormal. You can buy Gemma’s books on Amazon.  

Connect with Gemma

GemmaJuliana.com | Twitter | Facebook