I read something in the Wall Street Journal about how to have a happy life. One of the suggestions is to learn how to recognize your soul mate. It made me wonder. Do you actually "learn" this? Is it a "gut" feeling you get? Do you "just know"...love at first (or more) sight?
Today, some cultures still practice arranged marriages. The bride and groom don't have any input in the decision. If they've been brought up to believe that this is how life works, they may be happy. They may not be happy but do their best to make a marriage work. They may be unhappy the rest of their lives.
Dating helps you figure out who might fill this position in your life. Some seem to know very quickly if they've found that "special" mate. Some take years in making the decision and commitment.
Things to consider:
Similar tastes in things/interests in couple activities.
Chemistry...is there any "spark" between a couple? Does your potential mate make you feel special? Sexy?
Long term plans that incorporate/mesh the goals of each person to make them a couple.
Financial attitudes...saving for the future? Live month to month?
Family planning...kids? No kids?
Location. Live in one spot/area forever? Be adventurous and travel/live in different countries?
Feeling comfortable/at ease with a possible mate...are jokes okay? Can you cry? Talk about anything and not get embarrassed/ feel awkward?
Lots to think about.
I think about how I knew my husband was "the one". Sometimes, love does come "at first sight". I met him at a dance and we talked for hours. He had goals; I had goals. We both worked. He was in the military and I admired him for that. We talked about our families and found we had things in common. I remember thinking to myself, "This is someone I can bring home to meet my mother".
On our first date, I met him at the door with my hair still in curlers. A friend was with me and she told me later that I was crazy to let him see me like that. I remarked that since he had a sister my age, he'd seen curlers before. I felt so at ease/comfortable with him that I hadn't given it a second thought.
We got engaged after 2 months and married 3 months later. And, we're still married after 43 years.
I thought about my romance books, and realized none of my heroes/heroines experienced "love at first sight". Most times, they were "at odds" with each other over some type of conflict...what all romance books have. But in each book, the heroes and heroines fell in love. They learned what they needed to know about recognizing their soul mates. The road to romance and love was always rocky, but they forged ahead.
What's the one thing you think is important is recognizing a soul mate?
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