And Now For Something Completely Different

Today’s post is a mismash of things that I hope you’ll enjoy.

I originally read this satire written by John Cleese on Julia R Barrett’s witty, eclectic blog. I never know what I’m going to find over there but I’m always entertained and Julia’s blog is well worth a visit:

http://juliarachelbarrett.net/

But first a brief word about the fabulous Julia R Barrett and tiny bit of promo. Julia has two new books out that are truly worth taking a look at. The first is a beautiful micro-story and brief glimpse into a woman’s psyche called “The Artist”. This story is only a few pages long but provides an honest and spicy peek at a creative woman’s inner world. It was as much fun as secretly reading someone’s very erotic diary entry. I enjoyed it!

The second is a big beautiful eBook “Incorporeal”, which is a very romantic love story between a young woman who reluctantly sees ghosts and a very loving protective spirit from the past who literally materializes in her life and becomes her guardian and lover. If you love a good ghost story with a great romance this one’s for you!

And now for something completely different…

Comment: From the BBC - by John Cleese.

ANNOUNCEMENT

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend", and "The barbie is cancelled." The last warning has never been issued.

(John Cleese—British writer, actor and very tall person aka Mr. Fawlty from “Fawlty Towers” and many other hilarious personas displayed on Monty Python.)

I also have a bit of my own good news. A short story of mine, an ancient world fantasy, was selected to be included in an upcoming anthology. A dozen other amazing authors are included too. I can’t wait to share more details about this project.

Here are the links to “The Artist”.

Amazon link:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Artist-ebook/dp/B005FYSTTA/ref=sr_1_11?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1312502160&sr=1-11

These are the buylinks for “Incorporeal”:

http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-incorporeal-577954-140.html

Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/B005CWJK8E/ref=sib_dp_kd#reader-link

Enjoy!

I see its RBRU member Lisa Kessler’s Birthday today, Happy Birthday Lisa!

XXOO Kat

Katalina Leon "Nice Package" Excerpt

Sometimes I can’t believe how quickly a month goes by and instantly it’s my turn to blog again. I realized late last night that it was already January 22, and I didn’t have a blog… Uh oh.

Today I want a share a quick excerpt from “Nice Package”. Nice Package does take place the day after Christmas, but it’s a story that can be enjoyed anytime of the year. It’s really about a couple who stop the hectic routines of work and parenting long enough to reconnect and recharge as lovers.

This scene takes place after a lot of naughtiness has already happened in the kitchen. Cora is beginning to realize that Jim’s new game has a few strict rules….

“The living room looked lovely. The lights were dimmed low and the fire had burned down to a scarlet smolder that seemed to be releasing more heat than light. The Christmas tree she and the boys had so carefully trimmed glittered in the corner.

He led her toward a padded leather ottoman set conveniently near the fire. “Sit.”

She sat on the ottoman, feeling the welcome warmth of the fire on the side of her face.

He walked toward the Christmas tree and pulled a large, elegantly wrapped box from behind the tree. “This is for you.” The ruby foil wrapping on the box gleamed brilliantly when it was dragged into the firelight. The huge loopy bow on top looked velvety soft.

“More?” She sighed sweetly at the sight of the beautifully presented package. Jim had already given her a couple of nice presents that morning. It had been a lean year and both had agreed to concentrate on the boys’ gifts. This big gorgeous box was completely unexpected. She had no idea what it might be, and frankly she didn’t care. It was enough to be getting time alone with Jim and a bit of much needed loving attention. Still, she couldn’t wait to get her hands on the box and open it. Surprises thrilled her. “I see you saved a treat for last.” A bright smile warmed her face. I’ve been good. Give me my gift. She leaned forward and eagerly reached toward the box.

“No.” Jim gently stopped her hand. “The box won’t be opened until tomorrow and even then you will not be allowed to look inside to view the contents. Only I can open this box.”

She gasped in disappointment. That didn’t sound like very much fun at all. Her hopes plummeted.

Jim’s fingertips gently tapped the lid of the box. “Inside this box is everything I need to make all your favorite naughty little dreams come true—surprises, tension and even a few of the desires you might think I would never allow.”

“Oh,” her voice dropped. Her heart sped as her imagination went berserk. She harbored more than a few naughty little desires, and she wondered which ones would fit easily inside a box. Her hands gravitated toward the package in utter fascination. “Please, Jim, just one tiny peek?”

He slowly shook his head. “Absolutely not.” He moved closer and dangled a black blindfold in front of her face. “This is just the beginning.”

He quickly wrapped the blindfold around her head and tied it off, making sure she could not peek from beneath. He carefully tucked the edges of the blindfold under. When he was satisfied she could see nothing, he pulled something from underneath the ottoman that made a clangy metallic sound and brought her wrists behind her back. He quickly buckled her wrists into a pair of fur-lined cuffs and snapped them together.

“There.” He paused. “That ought to keep you from peeking at the box while I’m gone.”

She tipped her head from side to side, searching for even a fleck of light. There was none. Her world was black. The cupped edges of the blindfold blocked all light. A moment of panic washed over her. She rose, slightly hovering above the ottoman. “Jim, where are you going?”

His broad hands gently pushed her down onto the seat. “Stay seated. Don’t move. I’m going upstairs to take a quick shower and rinse the dish soap from my skin. I’ll be right back.”

She didn’t want to be left alone blindfolded. “Jim…”

Even shackled and blindfolded Cora can’t be trusted alone. That’s all I’ll say! Lol

I hope a few of you will give yourselves a “Nice Package” and enjoy a few of the thrills Cora’s discovers.

Thank you.

XXOO Katalina Leon

Katalina Leon “Nice Package” Ellora’s Cave Moderne Line

http://www.jasminejade.com/pc-8909-12-nice-package.aspx