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Thursday, January 14, 2016

When "Life" Collides With Writing...What's the Outcome? by Marianne Stephens

I'm at a point in my life where family obligations seem to increase. Funny...I always thought that as my kids grew older and left home my life would be easier. I'd have more time to do "me" things. As I get older, I seem to have more to do than ever before!

Yes, kids grow, but they still need MOM now and then. And, then there are the adorable grandkids. I want to be with them. I want to watch them grow. Raising my kids was a work in progress; kids don't come with manuals. You do "on the job" learning with your own kids. Grandkids...been there, done that so you can sit back and enjoy them.

As we get older, so do our parents. People live longer. The mother who once raised me now needs my attention and help as she slips further into dementia. I'm blessed to still have her but she's no longer "here" for my questions and needs. The roles have reversed.

I tried scheduling my life, but that no longer works. My husband just retired and my schedule no longer works. I even forget what day it is at times. We're "bonding" more and have plans to travel; enjoy things we haven't done before.

So...where does writing fit into my life now?

It's been tough trying to balance time for everything. Writing and time on the computer has become less frequent than before. Good thing? Yes. Bad thing? Yes.

See...I can't make up my mind and figure it all out. Some depression has crept into my life, and for the first time, I'm not sure how this will all settle in "Marianne's daily life".

I stopped writing novels and have only been writing short stories. That makes it easier for me to continue writing and have more free time for family. I love being part of Romance Books '4' Us: the yahoo group, blog, and website. I have so many friends who are like family in RB4U...and I'm grateful for their support.

Since I just went to my 50th high school reunion, this isn't a midlife crisis...I'm older than 65! Baby Boomer crisis? Hum. Maybe that's it!

Anyway, I'll be here and there, on loops, FB, twitter, etc. And, I'll write when life gives me a sanity break.

Anyone else in the Baby Boomer category...or any age...feel torn like I do?


photos:Flickr:Leland Francisco and Bill Harrison's photostreams


Rose Anderson said...

Boomer here. On the other side of the hill, I can't quite figure out what I want to do. A little voice occasionally whispers "walk away from writing and go do something else." I was hoping to win the lottery! ;)

Tina Donahue said...

Hope things get easier for you, Marianne. No one can do everything. Take care of yourself. Make yourself happy first, then everything else falls into place. :)

Cara Marsi said...

Marianne, I understand perfectly what you're going through. I've been going through the same things. I've had to deal with sick parents, retirement for me and my husband. I feel torn most days. I can't seem to get organized like I was when I worked. I, too, forget what day of the week it is at times. I'm a tad older than a Boomer (being a War Baby) but I identify with the Boomers, always have. I write short stories and novellas to keep writing as there isn't time to devote to full books any more. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's experiencing these feelings.

Judy Baker said...

Ahhhh, Marianne, I'm relating to all you said. I'm a Boomer too. Sometimes I feel like I accomplish a thousand times more when I was working, and now that I'm retired, I can't seem to get with the program and organize all the thoughts that are running through my head. I guess, the most important thing is to try and be happy with what we do accomplish and keep moving forward. Thanks for sharing.

stanalei said...

Not quite a boomer, but close, Marianne. With the advent of grandson #4 it's been an interesting start to the new year and time for reflection on my long term writing plans. I know what you're feeling.

Melissa Keir said...

Having a husband at home is a challenge to writing. I hope you find a way to balance it all out and share with me! I could use it!

Paris said...

It was easier to keep to a schedule before my husband retired but as I get older I realize that the goals I had ten years ago are evolving. I still have a full writing schedule but I've learned to go with the flow and not be upset when I get distracted. I think learning to enjoy each day as it comes and being happy is a lesson it took me way too long to learn. Balance seems to be the key. Now, if I can just remember that, this year should be a breeze:)

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