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Monday, May 13, 2013

Mother's Day Retrospective

I'll admit to enough hedonism that I enjoy milking Mother's Day for all it's worth. I consider this a survival mechanism, since I live my life surrounded by men. Of course, since most of them are 20-somethings, my MD spoiling comes mainly from my husband, who made me breakfast in bed, then steak for dinner. I got haphazard "Happy Mother's Day" tossed in my general direction from the others, although the one who sometimes lives here though he's not biologically related DID take a moment to stand in front of me and say the words with sincerity. I thought that was a really nice touch.

This year is my first Mother's Day as a grandmother, and that's a special milestone. Unfortunately, I haven't seen my granddaughter in a while, and I did miss her. With my mother gone for several years now, and my m-i-l living across the country, we no longer have to bounce from one house to another. That's bittersweet, and I spend more of the day reflecting now than I did as a younger mom.Watching Facebook during my day of leisure, I watched friends grieve the loss of their mothers, grandmothers, or even a child--a devastating holiday in that case. Some folks whose mothers were dysfunctional find the idea of celebrating awkward or worse. Other women felt slighted, as aunts, stepmoms, foster parents, teachers, counselors, and other people who go out of their way to care for children who aren't even theirs by birth. As on commenter said, "Being a mother is genetic. Being a MOM is entirely by choice." I was forcibly reminded that for all my flip, princess-like behavior, a lot of people had a tough time yesterday. To them, I want to send hugs, and these belated greetings:

  • If you've ever taught someone to read or ride a bike, or any other skill, Happy Mother's Day
  • If you've ever held a crying child, your own or otherwise, Happy Mother's Day.
  • If you've ever given a teenager advice that kept them from doing something stupid, Happy Mother's Day.
  • If you're grieving a loss or never had a mother's love, Happy Mother's Day
  • If you've ever held someone's hand while they waited for news, Happy Mother's Day.
  • If you've ever sat up all night with someone sick or in tears,  Happy Mother's Day.If you've ever given up your portion of a meal, dessert or snack so someone else could have it, Happy Mother's Day.
  • If you've ever skipped buying something for yourself so you could buy one for someone else, Happy Mother's Day.
  • If you've ever scolded while choking back tears, Happy Mother's Day.
  • If you've ever loved so fiercely that you would do anything for someone, Happy Mother's Day.

While I was lucky enough to be born into a  mostly-functional family (come on, no one's family is perfectly functional!), I'm also well aware of the concept of family by choice. (In fact the theme crops up in my books--a LOT) A lot of women were mentors to me along my life's journey, and I'm grateful for every one. That's the best thing about love--it doesn't worry about genetics, and there's always room for more.


Melissa Keir said...

Happy Mother's Day. You're right that mothers come in all shapes and sizes. Some people are mothers to furry babies. Other mothers are actually filling the role of both mothers and fathers. I hope they get twice the celebratory days! Anyway, I hope your day was wonderful!

Kenzie Michaels said...

LOL....I joked yesterday that I felt like the 'little ole woman who lived in a shoe'...I've had so many kids in and out of my home who either call me 'Mom' or 'Aunt Molly' (I've even 'Aunt Grandma' to a few, rofl!).

And I indulged yesterday also. Only spent minimal time online; napped and watched TV, and was taken out to a late breakfast and an early dinner.

jean hart stewart said...

Being a mother comes from the heart. The title has to be earned. In between looking for a new house, had a lovely mother's day, and I'm thankful for my blessings.

Paris said...

Hope you had a happy Mother's Day, sweetie:) I was lucky enough to spend Saturday with my mom and the kids came down and we grilled, yesterday.

Cara Marsi said...

What a nice tribute to mothers everywhere. When I worked, MD meant I got to write all day with no disturbances. Hubby and son would get takeout and serve it and clean up. Now that I'm retired and son lives 2500 miles away, the highlight of my day is when he calls. I never wanted to go out to dinner on MD. Too messy and crowded.

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