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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

More Punographics, funny, funny!

Since I promised you all more punographics. Maybe it’s my perverted sense of humor, but I find these awfully funny. Let’s hope you agree with me. 

1. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He can stop any time. (Yeah, that one’s pretty bad.) 

2. The girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

3. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down. 

4. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. 

5. All the toilets in the New York police stations have
been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. 

6. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

7. Haunted French pancakes give me the crépes.
8. A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

And thanks to John Milosh I have still more… If anybody wants to use number 7 in a blog for Halloween go ahead! 
And here's an excerpt from my upcoming release from Ellora's Cave erotica.  The elve's ears don't show very clearly here, but they're there! (This is still under edits) ADULT LANGUAGE WARNING

Brielle threw back her head and used one hand to smooth her heavy hair from her laughing face.
Arden, you frightened me. Oh, and you’re right. C’est merveilleuse. Swimming nude is so wonderful, I doubt I’ll ever want to put my suit on again.”
“You won’t have to if you marry me. We can always swim like this. Together. As much as you want.”
She started to answer, and then reared back to look into his eyes.
“You’re serious, aren’t you? But we haven’t known each other long enough for you to feel certain of what you’re saying.”
“Haven’t we?” His voice was rough as grabbed her legs and wrapped them around his waist. The water churned slowly around them. She clung to his shoulders, her eyes shocked but curious and intrigued. His scorching kiss widened her eyes even further, but she made no move except to tighten her hold on his neck.
Arden hadn’t planned what he did next, it was simply the only thing in the world he could do. He indulged in the kisses they both enjoyed, kissing her face, her lips, and finally her breasts. She gave a little gasp, clinging to him tightly and squeezed her legs around him. Kissing her all the while, he lifted her nude body and let it slowly slide down on his fully erect cock. Brielle started to push him away, but his hot kisses seemed irresistible to her, and she kissed him back with ardency even as he continued his slow entry. She didn’t protest, in fact she clung to him with innocent ardor. Once his cock was fully seated in her tight vagina, he took full control, kissing her with an abandoned passion he’d not allowed himself before. He lifted her body up and down, slowly at first. The knowledge he was finally possessing her pushed him over the edge much too quickly, swallowed his shout and letting his head drop the top of her hair.
She gasped again. “You put something warm in me.”

Which one's your favorite? See if you agree with mine...


jean hart stewart said...

This posted much later than I expected. Hope somebody is still around to read it...

Mary Corrales said...

I'm here. I loved #8 the best, because it sounds like something you'd really find in a newspaper. Lol.

Awesome excerpt. I like elven stories. :)

Adele Dubois said...

I enjoyed the puns, Jean. LOL. Hot book cover too! Best of luck with your release.


Adele Dubois said...

I enjoyed the puns, Jean. LOL. Hot book cover too! Best of luck with your release.


jean hart stewart said...

Thanks ladies...And thanks for following up

jean hart stewart said...

Anybody want to tell me how to get the no comments off the top of my blog today?

Paris said...

I always get a kick out of your puns:) So hard to choose but #5 cracked me up!

Gorgeous cover and thanks for the excerpt:)

jean hart stewart said...

Thanks, Paris. I found it hard to pick but I like#5 a lot too.

Marianne Stephens said...

I liked #4 since we've been in dinosaur mode with grandsons lately.
All of the puns were cute...thanks for giving us something to laugh about!

jean hart stewart said...

puns can be really dreadful, but I liked these too. More next month if everyone wants it.

Molly Daniels said...

ROFL! Loved #4:)

jean hart stewart said...

Thanks, Molly. I loved them too. You inspire me to do some more of them. Everybody needs a smile.

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