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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Let's Talk Erotic Romance

If you doubt anyone would ask an erotic romance author such a question, think again. Into the life of every such author shall fall at least one clueless reader with pointed questions. Many non-erotica fans will also say erotica and erotic romance are porn. Here’s my position on both views: whether something is smut, porn or erotica/erotic romance rests, in part, on the perception of the person. However, from the most unbiased view I can muster, I will add that it depends on the story and the emotional investment of the characters.

I believe erotica and erotic romance evoke visions of a story with a plot that piques a reader’s sexual interest by emotionally connecting that person to the characters and their situation. In other words, through the use of more than the graphical description of genital contact, the writer arouses the reader. Her tools include meaningful external and internal dialogue, full exploration of all the senses, and a well-paced story that leads to a satisfying conclusion. Whether the conclusion is a happily-for-now or a happily-ever-after scenario can depend on the erotica vs. erotic romance moniker. The latter term is most often associated with a true romance and not just a meeting between two people for sexual fulfillment.

Now, back to the original question, phrased more diplomatically: is my writing based on experience? Yes and no. Gotcha! Still, that is the truth. Sure, a lot of the sex scenes have elements of sex I have tried and situations in which I have found myself. That would shock many people who know me, as my sexual life has always been a private matter. I write just as many things, though, that have never happened to me. A lot of them are based on fantasies I have and yet others are based on fantasies I know readers prefer. Erotic romance is largely about satisfying fantasies, and they don’t always have to be true.

Based on my own experience, I can admit that I have been solely in single male/female relationships. However, I know people who participated in or have been approached about threesomes, many who work as professional white collar workers. As remarkable as some of the situations I describe in my works may seem, many are told where the fictional events bear a strong likeness to real trysts. Just as many don’t, but even when I write a scenario purely from my imagination, I frequently discover, when discussing it with a close friend or relative, that she has really done what I wrote about. Who knew? Plus, her actual escapade was far kinkier than what I dreamed up.

When all is said and done, this is what I know to be true:
• No two people are turned on by exactly the same thing.
• No matter how kinky the situation, someone has probably done it and/or craves reading about it.
• A writer will appeal to the masses when writing erotica, especially if its ménage, male/male or female/female relationships, and BDSM.

So tell me, had any good fantasies lately?


Sandy said...

I'm telling you my fantasties, they might end up in a book. lol I have written some erotic romance, but most of the scenes weren't from experience. Great job explaining the topic, Bobbye.

Sandy said...

I meant I'm not telling you my fantasties. lol

jean hart stewart said...

Good article. I was going to say you wouldn't believe some of the comments I've gotten since switching to erotica. But then again, you probably would. Experienced it all?...not by half...I write about some really kinky people as one as normal ones in erotic situations...

Cara Marsi said...

I agree you did a great job explaining the topic. I have many sexual fantasies, but can't share them here. I'm sure whatever you've written about, there are people who've done it. I always tell myself there's a whole world out there I know nothing about.

Janice Seagraves said...

I write about my fantasies, so there.

Excellent post. I'm sure we all get those questions about our erotic writing.


Molly Daniels said...

LOL....when I run into old friends, the first thing they ask is 'Am I In It?' A tiny bit of you maybe, but no.

Anonymous said...

Even when the book ISN'T an erotic romance readers still ask are-you-writing-from-experience? questions. How many of your husbands/boyfriends/significant others have been asked if they're in the book too?!!

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