All blogs are property of authors and copying is not permitted.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Oh, So Feelgood

You know that saying about not appreciating something until you’ve lost it? A lot of people, including myself, have had that epiphany about love. And the moment you no longer have love, what do you do? Let thoughts of it consume you. Yearn for it. Ache for it. Do anything to have it again…

The thing about love is that no matter how much we say we aren’t looking for it, don’t want it, we do. It’s an inherent part of who we are as humans. We need that closeness to another person. The people who do not crave that closeness, who do not care anything for their fellow man, who can murder them and feel no remorse, are the deviants. Those of us who want to be loved are the norm.

Now, granted there are those who would do anything, manipulate and lie and hurt others to have love. Those people are deviants too of a sort. Usually, what’s wrong with their pysches can be fixed whereas the murderers cannot. (Yeah, I don’t think you can rehabilitate a cold-blooded murderer.) Still, the majority of us aren’t killers or liars. Most of us sit and wait for love to happen and get panicked if it doesn’t.

In my case, I’ve had love. Several times. Different men. If the relationship I’m in now doesn’t work out, I rather have the sense that I’ve used up my allotment of love. But I suppose it could happen again. I almost feel like I’m too old for love, but in my heart I know that’s not true. None of us are too old for love. Just because our hair has turned white doesn’t mean our emotions stop.

In my books, the inhabitants of the Darkworld (except for the humans) all have pre-destined mates. Someone played matchmaker, uncaring of sexual preference. The “gods” have chosen for them and they must either accept their mate or remain alone. In the case of the dragons of the Darkworld, finding their mate is a distinctive part of who they are. It’s more than just cultural. Their mate truly is part of who they are.

When a Darkworld dragon finds their mate, the clock starts ticking. The long the two of them go without actually mating the more pain they find themselves in. The pain grows incrementally until one, or both, of the dragons goes insane from it and dies or kills themselves. Not a pretty thing at all. Yet on the other side of the coin, those dragons who embrace their mate, find their lives enhanced immeasurably. Their dragon clan mark becomes two dragons, usually entwined. The can easily share thoughts and feelings telepathically with their mate. Their sexual drive increases, as does their sexual stamina. And their built in birth control is deactivated once they mate. Yes, you got it… only mated dragons can get pregnant.

For the vampires, the Acerbians, of the Darkworld, mating isn’t mandatory. However, when a vampire meets their mate, they often dream of them and the dreams take on a surreal quality because they can sometimes be shared dreams if their destiny is strong enough. Once the vampires share blood – bites – they become bonded. Bonded bloodmates don’t have to both be vampires, although the bond tends to be strongest between a couple that is vampire-vampire. If one half of a two vampire bonded couple dies, the other vampire could starve to death. Usually, they chose to end their life as well and follow their mate to the Afterworld. Death by starvation is a horrendous fate after all. If the vampire half of a single vamp bonded couple is left alive, the same thing applies. Vampires are very dependent upon their mates.

In the next installment of the Tales of the Darkworld (due out the first week of April) an vampire and a Magia (someone of the magical race) are mates. The vampire is happy to have a mate and looking forward to their future together. However, the Magia (the wizard) has issues. He has enemies. He has doubts. He's afraid taking a mate would make that man a target. So he walks away.

The self-sacrificing wizard of Breathe Me In thinks he's given up his chance of happiness to keep his mate safe. In reality, he's just fed his own fears. Lucky for him, his mate is a fighter and willing to do whatever it takes for them to be together. We should all have a mate like that!

I suppose I came up with these ideas because I’ve lost people I’ve loved in the past. It would be nice to have that bond of love that cannot be broken even by death. It would take away a lot of the uncertainty in life and that fear of being alone and unloved.

People ask me all the time where I get my ideas. I always say, “Oh, here and there. From just about anything.” I suppose the truth of the matter is that my ideas are born of my heart. The things I want and need and wish for. The things I dream about. I spend a lot of time alone in my head and creating worlds where happiness reigns supreme and love always wins gives me comfort. Makes me believe – if only for a little while – that maybe I can have that too. Because, as I said, the truth about love is that we all need it. And finding someone to fulfill that need can leave you feeling as if nothing else in the world matters. Because really, nothing else does. If you have a mate, a life partner, someone to always be there for you, no matter how you might stumble in life, that person will be there to comfort you and love you. Their love will make all the bad stuff shrink to nothing.

Love is a powerful thing. It’s no wonder we all crave it like addicts over drugs. It’s no wonder we all write about it and readers are driven to buy the books. Nothing beats the feel-good of love. And that’s the truth.


Tina Donahue said...

Love the title "Breathe Me In", Lex. Tales of the Darkworld sounds wonderful. I can't wait to read. :)

Lex Valentine said...

Thanks, Tina! I hope you enjoy them!

Karenna Colcroft said...

Looking forward to this book, after I get caught up on the rest of the Darkworld books.

Not long ago, I would have completely disagreed with you about love...but then I found the man I can only call my soul mate, so I think you're absolutely right.

Teresa K. said...


I love this series by you. I think what you say about love is about right on.
We all crave that mate,partner. The Love of my life walked away from me in 1996. After telling me he loved me so much it scared the hell out of him. The next day he never came home.
Even now I mourn him. You have lovers but it's not the same. I told someone last night it will always be him. He was blind and didn't see we were suppose to be together.
How do you know, I knew we were best friends, and sex was not the issue in the relationship. But when we did have it, it was mind blowing.
I believe everyone is destined for that one! I feel like someone a part of me died when he left. I can't wait to read the new book. When I read your books, it helps me cope for I believe in that happily ever after. Even though I say I don't. Sorry about writing a book in this comment.

Teresa K.

Jaime Samms said...

Yup :) Don't really have anything else to say. You're right. And that's why I write HEA, too. :)

Christine Ashworth said...

Lex, our minds are working along the same lines - I wrote a similar blog about love over on Caridad Pinero's blog yesterday!

Your series is amazing. YOU are amazing.

Blessed be!

Julia Rachel Barrett said...

I love the Darkworld. And I would agree that at heart, we all want love, although some people would insist they are absolutely fine on their own. Maybe they are? I'm pretty much of a loner, but I do love love - even if it's just the love I feel for my dog.

jean hart stewart said...

Interesting how love means so many things to so many people. I had the real thing, and though he's now gone, he's still with me.Iknow I've been blessed. Jean

Anonymous said...

Love IS a powerful thing. I write romances because in my world, there's just not enough love and romance going on! Excellent post, Lex.


Jacqueline Seewald said...

Hi, Lex,

Your Darkworld books sound very original and interesting. I enjoy a sexy, romantic novel that appeals to the emotions as well as the intellect and try to write them myself.

Jacqueline Seewald

Lex Valentine said...

Karenna, when so many of us have found someone that makes us more than the sum of our parts, how can we not believe?

Teresa, I think we can have more than one soulmate in our lives. Back in my 20's I was with a man who was so in sync with me it was scary. When circumstances parted us I think we were both completely broken inside although we went on. To this day I feel that he owns a piece of me despite the fact that I doubt we could ever be together again. Who I'm with now is who I'm meant to be with at this juncture of my life. But I understand your sorrow and loss, truly.

Jaime - It's hard not to write the HEA when you believe it and live it. Now, make sure Ken and Mikko end up with theirs. ;)

Christine - Thank you so much! I really appreciate your words! Been a rough week so a little love from a fan is just the right touch to make all things right!

Julia - We can be loners but still need others, even if it's just the dog, on occasion. I think the human psyche is just formatted for love.

Jean - I've heard you talk about your husband before and I wish everyone could have the kind of relationship you had. I truly believe you were blessed!

Polly - There is never enough love!

Jacqueline - I always write what I myself would want to read. Always. So I always write the HEA. It's difficult for me to write anything else.

Paris said...

Lex, great post and your Darkworld series sounds spectacular!

Gina Ardito/Katherine Brandon said...

Sounds like a fabulous story. Can't wait to get my hands on a copy.

Louisa Bacio said...


Enjoyed reading about your new series. As for love, it's very different for each person. For me, I think we don't necessarily have that one love and if we lose it ... it's gone. And, you are never too old for love.

Best of all in this new series, and much luck in love,

Louisa (OCC/RWA)

Deanna Brown said...

CITES certification prove that it is originally from South Africa. Among all the weight loss solutions available in the recent time, Hoodia Gordonii is an absolute stand-out. Hoodia is a non-prescription herbal natural remedy intended for losing weight. But the real stuff does work.

Share buttons