Sunday, July 17, 2016
As to paraprosdokians. they are a figure of speech where the latter part of the sentence is unexpected and usually humorous. I got these from my friend and fellow writer, Carlene Rae Dater, who keeps me supplied with laughs. She's definitely the kind of friend to have.
Here's some of them......
1. If I had a dollar for every girl who found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.
2. I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind me.
3. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool so I gave him a glass of water.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. I'm great at multi-tasking. I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate all at once.
6. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
7. Take my advice, I'm not using it.
8. My wife and I were happy for twenty years, then we met.
9. Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.
10. I was going to wear my camouflage shirt but then I couldn't find it.
As usual when I plan one of these goofy columns I'll ask you to pick your favorite, and if it matches mine you can choose anyone of my e-books and I'll send it to you. I've been re-working my website, www.jeanhartstewart.com, but it's still working enough for you to pull up a lists of my books. 35 at last count, so you can can choose historical, fantasy, or in between.
Do let me know your choice of the best of these paraprosdokians...