Families, Politics, Religion and Strange Bedfellows...and Romance

Before you get your hackles up, I'm not here to announce my views on the world's two testiest subjects...politics or religion. At least not in specifics. But when asked some time back, what themes, other than specifically romance, seemed to crop up in my books, the answer was family--the ones we make as well as the ones we are born with.

I am one of 30 grandchildren on my father's side. 14 or 15 on my mother's, depending on count. I have more first cousins than you can swing a cat at. I also had two brothers, but they were quite a bit older and I don't really remember living with them. I had a good relationship with my parents, and I have wonderful in-laws. I am genuinely lucky when it comes to family.

Going away to college was something of a culture shock. I made friends, but I'm really not that good at social skills--something your older cousins don't tell you. It took me a while to find my tribe. Once I did, life changed. Many of those people are still friends today.

Being a nerd, it turned out, wasn't trendy in the 80s. But with my new friends, it was just who we were. Still are. Still am. I married another nerd. Thank goodness. I don't think we'd have survived this long (34 years last month) if we didn't connect on the fundamental level we do. But this isn't about being nerdy either.

Not everyone is born into an easy going, loving family. My sons both fell for women with far more complex family backgrounds. They are learning, though, that when they're with us, they're just family. Loved, teased, called out if needed, but always there for back up. THAT is the feature that finds itself at the heart of most of my novels, novellas and stories. That family is what you make it. You might disagree on big things, like religion or politics, or on little things like Pepsi or Coke. (How I got a child who prefers Pepsi is beyond my ken.) You might fall for someone, or be chosen family of some one who is utterly different on the surface--you might look like stange bedfellows. But if the bond is there, if these are people you can call at 4 pm to bail you out or pick you up from and airport, then maybe you've found your chosen family. 

Romance books are inherently about love, specifically the love between a couple or trio. But there are so many more kinds of love that make your life happy ever after. And those are important too.