Did the title of this blog grab your attention? I hope so, because I wanted to talk about something that I’m sure we’ve all noticed. It’s a growing trend and it stretches as far from little kids in pre-school to grown adults who claim to teach their children how to behave politely. It’s called rudeness. Oh sure, it can be labeled in many different ways, but it all has the same effect. Have you ever witnessed it? I’m positive you have. It can be found in a grocery store, a city park and even on the World Wide Web. It comes in many forms. When in person, a rude person can use their body language, hand gestures and facial expressions to get their anger across. That – in my opinion – is the less severe of the occurrences. One of the most brutal forms of abusive behavior seems to be found on-line. The internet has become a stomping ground for bullies who I used to believe did their dirty work on the playground. Sadly, it seems that with the growing trend of social networking sites some people have found themselves to be larger than life, ten feet tall and bullet proof, and honestly too many have used their keyboard as a vicious and vile weapon. My only question is, why?
Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t to bash the “mean people” of the world. Nor is it to say that I am a perfect individual who has only spread joy and sunshine to others. Truthfully, I don’t believe people are mean per se. I do however believe they are human, and with that come all sorts of emotions. We are a unique species in that we have the ability to think things through. Even some of the most intelligent animals act more on a primal basis than they do on emotions. This same ability is what makes us amazing creatures, but at the same time can make us spiteful in our actions. Like with any life form, we must mature as we age. Even a fine wine which has been aged to perfection can have a hint of bitterness to it though.
Before I get too far into this allow me to explain something of utmost importance. I am not perfect, far from it in fact. I have been guilty of tons of character flaws and social blunders in both my personal and professional life. Like everything else in my life, I’ve tried to learn from those mistakes and be a better person for them. Does that mean that I can’t still make the occasional error in judgment? Absolutely not! I am a sensitive woman who has a thin skin sometimes. When you combine that with being a writer who is very tapped into her emotions you are bound to slip up from time to time. However, with all that being said I make a conscience effort every day to watch for signs that I may be slipping back into old habits. I do this because I know all too well how it feels to be on the receiving end of someone’s nastiness. In turn, I remind myself that I must try to never to reflect negative energy onto others.
Some of you may be thinking at this point, okay, hold on here, negative energy? What is this some sort of mumbo jumbo about auras and karma? Well, I’m not talking any mumbo jumbo I can assure you. To further this let me ask, how many of you have been having just an okay day? You know, one of those days that isn’t bad, but isn’t necessarily good either? Then someone shifts your mood in one particular direction based on how they treat you? How many of us have gone from so-so to down-right miserable because of someone’s treatment towards us? It can really be a downer to have someone do this to you. More often than not we don’t see it coming and it completely blindsides us. However, if you flip the coin around and look at it from the other angle someone’s treatment of us can have a wonderful effect if their words and actions are positive. Who has had their mediocre mood turned into an outstanding one because of the smile someone brought to your day? Whether with kind words or gestures someone truly can turn a frown upside down!
I suppose at this point I should summarize my thoughts and get to my point of this guest blog. Many of you who are reading this are probably authors, and – I hope – that our main goal is to bring a little bit of happiness to our reader’s lives through our stories. Aren’t our stories just another form of entertainment? Instead of being on the silver screen, our tales are told on paper. If we hope to spread joy, should we not also do so with our daily actions? This brings me back to something I mentioned earlier, social networking sites. On the internet there are some ones available for people in all walks of life to enjoy. With these various avenues available to us sometimes people can forget their decorum. Sadly, manners can all but be forgotten when dealing with others on-line. This is what troubles me, on both a personal and professional level. I know it may sound a bit cheesy and even a little too naïve, but why not just be nice? Does everyone remember that old saying, “if you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all”? Well, as kindergarten as it sounds I say it’s darn good advice!
My hope is that everyone reading this post reminds themselves to take a moment before they react to others. A single second can make the difference in how you may respond to someone. I remind myself of this daily and make sure that I give myself that much needed moment so I don’t let my feelings or emotions control how I behave. Do I always succeed? Nope, but I sure get back up on that horse every time I fall.
We each have our own unique gifts to share with the world, just as we have flaws which we try to hide. With both we can find ourselves in a dilemma. If you find that feeling of rudeness creeping up on you, please take a moment and remember that all others are human as well. They breathe just as you, they bleed just as you, and they cry just as you... before being the cause for someone else's pain or tears, instead spread the most contagious action of all... kindness ~ You will be glad that you did.
Here is a little nibble from my latest Surrender Her Inhibitions...
(a novel within Dominant Persuasions)
Sweat dripped down his chest from lack of control. He looked down at the top of her head as she seemed to nuzzle up against him. Her precious movements of needing to be close to him were almost more than he could take.
Amazon: http://goo.gl/sfKnNu
Amazon UK: http://goo.gl/1tvvQl
Amazon CA: http://goo.gl/9DFjlm
Amazon AU: http://goo.gl/PJ0INF
B&N: http://goo.gl/CRmMDB
Kobo: https://goo.gl/AB0vbD
Nicole's Administrative Services
That's all for me this months, guys and gals.
I'll see you here next month,
Same bat time...Same bat channel.
Nicole Morgan is an author of erotic romance novels, which more often than not have a suspenseful back story. Erotic romance mixed with good old-fashioned whodunit. While she's written everything from contemporary to paranormal her leading men will more than likely be wearing a uniform of some kind. From military to police officers, she has a love for writing about those who protect and serve. From her very first novel about Navy SEALs to her more recent releases you will be sure to find a few twists and turns you were not expecting.
She also had a recurring monthly column in Book & Trailer Showcase's eMagazine, is a proud member of the Romance Books 4 Us Gold Authors, as well as Sweet and Sexy Divas.
Find out more about Nicole and her books by visiting her website, blog, Google + Page, Twitter, Facebook and her Yahoo Group, Nicole’s Think Tank.
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A very nice reminder. It is hard to know sometimes as well how things are being taken on the other side of the screen. I've sent off perfectly nice (at least to me) emails, only to have someone say I wasn't. This is very true of humor. Some people can be offended by a joke said, not meant to hurt.
ReplyDeleteWhen this happens, I do as I tell my students... apologize and learn. First, while saying sorry doesn't always stop the sting, it does show the other person that you hear their concern and will try to learn from it. Then do just that... try not to make the same mistake next time. :)
Great post, Nic. Kindness is sorely lacking in this country. So many revel in being nasty/angry/out of line and it seems to be getting worse with each year. Begins in school with bullying. I've learned to be indifferent. Ignoring a bully or someone who's unkind gives them nothing to work with. It's impossible to rail against an intended victim who doesn't recognize that you exist.
ReplyDeleteVERY good post. I'm easily hurt and assume everyone else is too, whether they show it or not. I try to look pleasant when with others, and I mean even in a store. Your mood affects all you come in contact with. So smile, sweetie...
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Nic. I think the online aspect strips away context and it also makes people say/write things they would only think IRL. I try to ignore anything I don't like online...and in real life. And I save it for my books. All of it.
ReplyDeleteGreat post - a little kindness DOES go a long way.....
ReplyDeleteWhat bothers me about rude behavior is when someone says, "That's the way they are," shrug, and we're supposed to live with it. No matter what the age, rudeness is rude and there is no excuse, even at any age. Not long ago, I read a post and the person said, "If you voted for so and so, I hate YOU." I had to unfriend. Her words were too harsh for me.
ReplyDeleteGood post.
Great post, Nic. Bullying has become an epic problem in our schools and to tell you the truth, they have to learn it somewhere and I'm afraid our media doesn't help. How many reality shows rely on people being rude and obnoxious to one another, picking apart the weakest member to achieve some kind of glory? I can't believe this kind of behavior is applauded. I'm with you, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
ReplyDeleteTimely post, Nic. I've had to unfriend people on FB because of mean-spirited things they've said. Of course, we're all guilty of saying things we shouldn't. But there is such a proliferation of rudeness everywhere now.
ReplyDelete