Does your own love life help or hinder your romance writing?
I had a writer friend who'd been publishing romances since
she was 19. Her earlier books were nice and steamy (or as steamy as Harlequin allowed),
but her later books exhibited a slower, more deliberative, even hesitant approach
to romance. I asked her why. Her response? "If you ain't gettin' any, it's
hard to write it."
I've been wondering about that. Many of my author friends
who write erotic—even BDSM—often turn out to be in blissful marriages with
small children. Perhaps the balance in their real lives allows them to break out
into all kinds of fantasies. Perhaps they like the contrast. How does a mind
work that, on the one hand, can live a bucolic existence in a suburb of (say) Des
Moines, and on the other, write about shape-shifting vampires from another
planet?
From the reader's perspective, is the writer's writing impaired if
she has an active love life? Does it bubble up in the writing? Does it distract
the reader if he thinks he's reading an autobiography? These are indeed
interesting avenues of inquiry, but today I want to address a different issue,
this time from the writer's perspective. Does having romance in your own
life make it easier or harder to write romance?
Romance writers tend to have two things in common—they like
happy endings, and they like the push and pull, play and by-play, of the
romantic story. The question becomes, if you're supremely happy—on your
honeymoon, or celebrating the birth of a first child, or in your twentieth year
of wedded bliss—does it hinder your ability to sit down and write a story that effectively conveys all the
necessary bumps on the path to happiness? Alternatively, if everything in your
own life has gone wrong—death in the family, or divorce, or you despair of ever
finding Mr. Right—can you still write a story that sails tranquilly over placid
blue water into paradise?
Does it perhaps differ from writer to writer?
It's often been assumed that a true artist must suffer in
order to create powerful emotional scenes.
Some
people work better with a little angst in their lives--they can immerse
themselves in the story and forget their troubles, or use the story as a
release for their emotions, or create a sublime and harmonious world that they
can manipulate any way they want.
On the other hand, some (like me) do much better when we're happy.
It may sound odd, but when I'm with someone I care about, this little itch
starts in my side and crawls up to my head and whispers, "Write,
write, write now." When I don't respond, it usually hisses,
"You moron, use it or lose it." On the other hand, if things are
going badly, I'll do anything rather than put fingers to keyboard—activities
that usually include staring out the window, making lists, and in my youth,
smashing wine glasses.
Eventually, however, as with most authors, I'm driven to
write no matter what the circumstances in my life. But in this case, the heroine tends to have a bit of a hard
time getting to that happy ending and the story can get bogged down in booby
traps, misunderstandings, and criminal elements. When my life is going
smoothly, the story tends to move along a bit more quickly and the hero and
heroine have fewer obstacles to overcome.
As to actual research into the psychology of the thing, I've
found academic articles that examine how expressive writing affects the
reader's mood—but not the other way around, i.e., how the writer's mood affects
the expressive writing. I did find one blog by Darren Cormier written in 2010
that picks up the theme in a very interesting way: http://www.darrencormier.com/2/post/2010/10/how-does-personal-mood-affect-writing.html
I would love to have readers of Romance Books 4 Us weigh in
with their perspectives. To a comment that sheds new light on the subject, I'd
like to offer a beautiful keychain, suitable for holding the key to your heart,
your home, or your planet.
BIO:
Although M. S. Spencer has lived or traveled in five continents,
the last 30 years have been spent mostly in Washington, D.C. as a librarian,
Congressional staff assistant, speechwriter, editor, birdwatcher, kayaker,
policy wonk, non-profit director and parent.
Ms. Spencer has published nine romance novels. Six—LosersKeepers, Triptych,
Artful
Dodging: The Torpedo Factory Murders, Mai
Tais and Mayhem: Murder at Mote Marine (a Sarasota Romance, Lapses of Memory, and the Mason's Mark —were published by Secret
Cravings.
BLURB: Her latest is Whirlwind
Romance, published September, 2014
In the aftermath of a hurricane, Lacey Delahaye finds
herself marooned on the Gulf coast of Florida with a mysterious castaway. They
are immediately drawn to each other, but before Armand can confess his
identity, they are kidnapped and taken far from civilization to a tiny, remarkable
island in the western Caribbean. With the help of her son Crispin, a small, but
proud young boy named Inigo, and a cadre of extraordinary characters, Lacey and
Armand must confront pirates, power-mad ideologues, and palace intrigue if they
are to restore the once idyllic tropical paradise to its former serenity and
find lasting happiness.
Twitter: www.twitter.com/msspencerauthor
GoodReads:http://www.goodreads.com/msspencer
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/msspencerauthor/
GoodReads:http://www.goodreads.com/msspencer
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/msspencerauthor/
M.S., I'm sure my mood can effect my writing, or if I can write at all if something is wrong.
ReplyDeleteOf course our moods and circumstances can affect our writing - just not always in ways we can predict! My own life is so happy and my husband so wonderful that by contrast everything in a romance novel seems flat and uninspired. (I mean, he even proposed to me in a moonlit garden at the base of the Egyptian pyramids... try topping that in a novel!) I guess it means I just have to work harder...
ReplyDeleteYou've done a pretty bang-up job so far Janis Susan May! Thanks all for reading and commenting. M. S.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting question and something I've never thought about. My husband and I have been together for over 40 years. We've had some rough patches as most couples have. I don't think my mood has influenced whether or not I can write. I write when I'm happy and I write to escape when I'm stressed. I love happy endings, and the idea of love that can withstand all obstacles. I use those tropes in my books. Some of my experiences in my younger, wilder days have shown up in my stories. We writers have such active imaginations that we don't have to have lived something to write about it.
ReplyDeleteI agree that mood affects our writing. Like you mentioned, my writing flows better when I'm happy... but I'd like to propose that we need to add another variable to the equation... when I'm unhappy, I'm not eating well, not sleeping well and generally feeling yucky.. I don't want to write let alone do anything but lay around. When I'm happy, I love to write.. I love to dance around the room and share my laughter and horrible singing with others. :) Beware!
ReplyDeleteSo writing of course comes easier when I'm happy...but so does life!
It's nice to know someone else can't sing, Melissa! I inherited my voice from my mother, & an indication of how bad hers was is that at our annual town Christmas caroling she was politely asked to meet everyone at the end for cocoa.... Ack. M. S.
ReplyDeleteCara, can you send me your email address? I'd like to send you the beautiful keychain I mentioned! Thanks to all who commented so thoughtfully. M. S.
ReplyDelete