A Trip to the Hardware Store by Janice Seagraves

A Trip to the Hardware Store

by Janice Seagraves

Life is interesting when you have children, especially a daughter. And mine has a real different mindset.

Not that long ago we went to the hardware store and looked at tools.

Photo by Janice Seagraves

Hubby said, “Help me find some nuts and bolts. I just need a couple. They’ll be loose in one of these drawers."

My daughter looked around and threw her arms in the air. “Why is everything named after a man’s body part, or sounds like sex?”

Me, arching an eyebrow: “What do you mean?”

Daughter: “I mean it’s all called ‘hard-ware,’ right? Think about that.”

Me: “Well, yeah.”

Daughter: “And dad wants me to find his nuts for him?”

Me, trying not to laugh: “Okay. What’s your point?”

She holds up several items. “Screws, bolts, and a rod.”

I smiled. “I suppose your right.”

Daughter: “Then there are names like Ham-her, Screw-drive-her, Joint-her, Compress-her and Fasten-her. It sounds like they doing something bad to a woman, ya know?”

Me: “I never thought of that.”

Daughter, shaking a finger: “And don’t get me started on power tools.”

Gulp, at this point I was afraid to ask.

Next we went to the checkout line, and it was one of those places where you check yourself out.

Then my daughter yells: “Dad, don’t go in there, your nuts are too small.”

I hate to admit it, but I just lost it. I was laughing so hard tears streamed down my face.

My husband, blushing badly, had to lead me out to the car.

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Janice Seagraves website: http://janiceseagraves.org/
Janice Seagraves main blog: http://ladyjanice.blogspot.com/