What's in a Mother??
Welcome back. It's Melissa Keir, again...Today is the day after Mother's Day but I wanted to take a moment to talk with you about your mom, your grandmother and the wonderful women in your life.
I have been a mother for 25 years, although not a grandmother yet... I'm sure that will come in time- no rush! But I've had almost 50 years as a daughter, dealing with the complex relationships that occur between a mother and a daughter. I'm sure there are many more qualified people reading this, who have their own insights to share...I welcome them. I love learning...it's in part why I'm a teacher.
Mother's have a special place in our hearts. We strive to be like them and often times... unlike them as we learn just who we are. My own relationship with my mother was filled with those conflicts. I remember my mom being my fiercest supporter when I was asked to write 150 times "I will not talk in class". So much so that she often wrote some of the lines herself to take a stand against using writing as a punishment. She ran for School Board Member on the same platform. Looking back, I have to agree. Writing shouldn't ever be a punishment. Too many children hate writing or physically struggle with writing, so why make it worse??
As a teenager, I wanted to be anything but my mom. We looked a lot alike. People remarked on it, how me more than my other sisters looked similar. It came back to haunt me after my mother's death because it was hard for my dad to be close to me. I felt it was how much I resembled her, both in personality and appearance.
My mom attended my school dances as a chaperone and was so loved by everyone. She danced with all the hot guys and even stood in the "kissing line" for a peck on the cheek. She'd even gone back to school to get her hairdresser's license and cut/styled many of my friends' hair.
It was at this time, I wanted to stand on my own two feet, be my own person. I rebelled. I'm sure she was laughing behind her hands. I took up smoking only to be shown that she had done it many years before. I dressed outrageously, only to be reminded that my mom wore jeans before many women were permitted to.
This was a constant struggle between us, until the day I stood on my own two feet as a wife...then mother. During those years, we were never closer. She's who I called when I needed help baking her special breakfast treat, or help with a colicky baby. She was so proud of my teaching degree and work in the schools.
Too quickly, she left my life. One day we were planning our holiday dinner and the next...a funeral. Now we are back full circle...
My mom wrote a manuscript for a romance novel when I was a teen. She submitted it in large manila envelopes to many publishing houses. Never acceptances but sometimes re-writes or maybe's. While my mom instilled my love of writing and reading- especially romances... she never was able to see any of my work. I believe that she would have been my biggest supporter and critic as well. She didn't pull punches with me.
Each Mother's Day is bittersweet. I'm a mother to two wonderful adults now and yet, I still long for more moments with my own mother. Her advice, her acceptance and recognition. I can only hope...I've done her proud.
See you next month---same bat time...same bat channel! :)