And I'm hoping you'll comment and tell me your favorite...
Here they are for 2013:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.
Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles won $74,000 plus medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
Terence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he'd just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson, the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it shut/ Forced to sit for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days and survive on a case of Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance company claiming undue mental anguish. Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000. We should have this kind of anguish.
Jerry Williams, of Little Rock, Arkansas, garnered fourth place when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle, even though the beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams didn't get a much as he'd asked because the jury thought the beagle might have been provoked when Williams climbed over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet gun. HUH? I'd bite him too.
Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania. A jury ordered a Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier in an argument.
Kara Walton, of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a nightclub in a nearby city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3,50 cover charge, the jury awarded her $12,000 plus dental expenses.
This year's runaway first place Stella award winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinsky sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat when the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down?
$1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit.
Naturally I have to include a short excerpt from Fearless Pursuit...coming soon, I keep hoping. Edits on this one have proved troublesome.
He found her in the music room, staring out the window into the dark night.
He came up behind her and turned her slowly in his arms until she faced him. Tears were running down her cheeks, and when she saw who held her she sobbed and laid her dark head on his shoulder.
Astonished at her acceptance of his embrace, he handed her a handkerchief and held her while she gulped, mopped at her tears, and then relaxed again in his arms. The feel of her beautiful body so close to his almost broke his control. He kissed her hair softly and sweetly as she nestled closer. Unable to stop himself, he lifted her face and claimed her mouth. Their kiss blazed into instant heat and he groaned as he ran his tongue around her soft lips, demanding she let him in. Her hesitancy surprised him. It seemed more as if she didn’t know what he wanted rather than the reluctance he’d expected. Gently nipping her lower lip, she gasped and he thrust his tongue in to finally taste her sweetness.
Dear lord of all the elves, she tasted better than butter and vanilla icing. He’d noticed before she always wore a scent that smelled like daffodils, and he sucked on her tongue as he breathed in the evocative fragrance. She caught on quickly, running her tongue around his lips as soon as he released it, and then allowing him to deepen the kiss.
Holding her tightly with one arm, he freed the other to caress her face and then her shoulders, and finally he let his hands roam along the sides of her breasts and down to her narrow waist. Afraid to truly explore her breasts and nipples, he contented himself with tracing the shape of the perfect rounds and cupping them in his hands.
She made no attempt to stop him, and his cock raged almost out of control. Dear elves, he didn’t want to shoot his cum in his pants, but he was very near to doing just that. She was so damned delectable, so perfect for him, that he pushed her against the wall and ground his rigid cock against her soft body.
A mistake. Whether the size of his cock frightened her he didn’t know, but she suddenly pushed him away and slid from under his arms.
“Rurik, I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t mean to lead you on like that.”
He finally gulped in enough air to answer.
“My love, and you are my love, don’t look so startled. I’m the one to apologize. I pushed you much too fast. I can’t feel truly sorry, though, it was simply too wonderful to have you in my arms.”
She’d sped to stand half-way across the room and was eyeing him warily.
“You can’t mean that, it’s too soon. We barely know each other. I never should have encouraged you on like that. I’ve never acted like a slut before.”
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