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Sunday, February 9, 2014

Warning Labels- Proceed at Your Own Risk...

Everything seems to come with a warning label these days. You can’t pick up your blow dryer without wondering who decided it would be a good idea to put the blow dryer in the tub. What about the first person who thought to use a toilet brush for oral use? 


Even books come with warning labels. I love reading the fun warning labels like “Warning: Book may cause hot and bothered feelings” or “Warning: Book contains a sizzling romance filled with a hunky Scottish ghost”.  My book "A Christmas Accident" should come with a warning "Kleenex may be needed". What are some of your favorite book warnings?


I sometimes believe people should come with warning labels. If you ask my husband, he would say that I’m dangerous when I’m in a mood. Just last week, I came home frustrated after a day of work and raked the entire front yard. He knew I was best to be left alone. On those days, my warning would be “proceed with caution.” But I’m usually a person who’s happy so that warning wouldn’t apply on those days. Some days, I’m bouncing off the walls with excitement. On those days, my warning would be “Watch for Ubrupt Dance Moves.”


If you had a warning label, what would it be?



18 comments:

Gemma Juliana said...

Enjoyable blog post, Melissa. My warning label would probably say, "Caution! This redhead has a short fuse. She bounces between deliriously happy and steaming mad. Offerings of dark chocolate and latte are known to improve her mood."

You're right --- I've noticed lately that warning labels often seem to be written for those with no common sense.

Tina Donahue said...

LOL - using a toilet bowl brush for personal hygiene. I can't stop laughing.

Great post, Melissa!

Cara Marsi said...

I enjoyed your post, Melissa. My warning label: "Caution! Fast walker. Watch out or she'll walk right into you, especially if she's plotting out her next book in her head." I walk very fast and have been known to plow into slower walkers by accident.

I'm amazed at some of the warning labels I see on products. Common sense would dictate that people not do stupid things, but apparently there are people out there without common sense. And companies have to protect themselves from lawsuits.

Sandy said...

LOL Fun post, Melissa.

My warning label: Caution, don't talk to her until she has one cup of coffee.

Melissa Keir said...

Gemma- That's a great warning label! I'll make sure to signal if my mood is changing!

Tina- I couldn't believe that someone really tried to use the toilet brush that way! Poor guy! HAD to be a guy!

Cara- I used to walk really fast esp. when I needed to get somewhere. My friends would push me ahead so I could get in front and signal them. Are you small like me? I think we just sneak around some of those people's arms...

Sandy- That was my mom's warning too. She loved her coffee and had it all day long, but the mornings were rough (esp. if she had a late night) until she got the coffee in her!!

Cara Marsi said...

Melissa, I'm glad I'm not the only one who walks faster than most. Yes, I'm small and it's true we small people can walk around others more easily. My mother was very tiny and always walked fast until she got sick.

D'Ann said...

Great post! My books should say:
Warning: Hunky cowboys inside! Proceed at your own risk!

Jenna said...

Loved this post! My warning label should be "Warning! Plotting in progress. Do NOT expect an answer to any questions." LOL

Melissa Keir said...

Cara- I'm glad to know the small of the world have this wonderful skill! It's our super hero power!

D'Ann- that's for sure true about your books. When will I get my own hot cowboy??

Jenna- I used to do that to piss people off. Okay they were my husband's friends who treated me like crap, but they would talk and then I'd look at them and go "Were you talking to me?" all eyes innocent and they would walk away. But often when I'm thinking about something, my mind is there and not on what people are saying. Of course I do the opposite at times and sit in the restaurant and tell my hubby about all the conversations going on around us.

Liza O'Connor said...

If we have a character brush their teeth with a toilet bowl cleaner, readers would declare us ridiculous.

Why is reality allowed to be stranger than fiction. That is so unfair.

I do have a warning label on Ghost Lover. It's an allergy warning that there's a ghost cat in the book.

Daryl Devore said...

Give me all the chocolate and no one gets hurt.

Melissa Keir said...

Daryl- Too funny! Do you like white, dark or milk chocolate or does it even matter?

Liza- it was your warning label about the cat that got me thinking. More and more authors are using warning labels to entice the readers.

Paris said...

Melissa,

Loved the post! I've had my share of laughs over warning labels. One of the best was on a coffee carafe that warned not to hold it over anyone's head. Really? Whatever happened to common sense?

Melissa Keir said...

I don't know Paris. It makes me wonder who did pour the coffee over their head to have to have the warning label!

Daryl Devore said...

Melissa - Dark chocolate is the best. Milk is too bland and white chocolate isn't even chocolate.

Sheri Fredricks said...

Having a great ab workout from laughing at all the answers! The solar shield for my car's windshield reads: Remove before operating vehicle. Well DUH!! I suppose my personal warning label might read: Warning! Those with lame excuses will not be tolerated.

Renee Vincent / Gracie Lee Rose said...

Ha! I love this, Melissa.

Lets see...mine would say:

CAUTION: THIS AUTHOR LOVES AND ADORES HER VIKINGS, BOTH FICTIONAL AND HISTORIC. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO INSULT THEM LEST YOU ENJOY A WOMAN'S WRATH.

Melissa Keir said...

Glad you stopped by Renee!! The Vikings were hot but maybe that's because they were all Alpha males!


Sheri- I can't imagine that someone would think to drive with it on. It's like who is using the toaster in the tub??

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