But first, some more paraprosdokian sentences, since everybody seems to like them. Maybe I should call them an early Xmas gift to tie them into the title of the blog!
1. I asked for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
5. Evening news is where they begin with 'good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
As usual, I'd love to have a vote on the favorite. This time I can't pick. I like them all.
And now for an excerpt from 'Unexpected Christmas'. This is erotica, so don't read further if you don't want to. But I hope you do.
Hours later he woke up, painfully aroused again by the supple body draped over his. She’d cast aside the pillow and was nestled against him, blissfully asleep as she snuggled against the only warmth in the cold room.
He looked down at the golden hair flowing against his chest and silently cursed the most damnable situation he’d ever been in. Finally he eased himself gently from under her and sat on the edge of the bed. He’d get no more sleep tonight. He certainly couldn’t stay there with his rigid cock poking into her soft stomach. He’d enter her before she even knew what he was about.
He draped his greatcoat more closely around her and rose.
Time to go check the fires.
Both those in this goddamn inn and in his regrettable body.
He’d not counted on his unpredictable Caro. He felt her arms wrap around him, as she laid her cheek against his shoulder.
“Sebastian, why would you want to get up so early? Come back and lie beside me again. I’m so much warmer and feel safer when you’re with me.”
Sheer desperation drove Sebastian. If he didn’t do something he’d turn on her like a ravaging wolf and tear her innocence to shreds.
“Damn it. Caro, are you so innocent you don’t know what you do to me? You’re far from safe with me. If I stay in bed another minute I’ll turn on you, ravage you and take your innocence. No one will marry you then, unless you manage to convince the fool you’re still a virgin. I won’t do that to you, although God know there’s nothing in this world I’d rather do.”
There was a short silence, although she did take her warm arms from around him.
“I don’t want you to leave me. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better so you’ll stay?”
Sebastian was not sure her words came from an angel or a devil."
Unexpected Christmas will be found at Ellora's Cave, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and the usual places including my website, www.jeanhartstewart.com
Thanks for reading this...Jean