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Monday, September 16, 2013

Guest Blog: Cris Anson: BDSM - What I Learned in One Year



Without knowing it, I started my journey into BDSM with my very first Ellora’s Cave book, which was published in January 2005. Here’s the first sentence of DANCE OF THE SEVEN VEILS:
“And remember, if you see a naked man handcuffed to a ring in the ceiling, it’s because he wants to be there.”

You must know this: I’d never known anyone in the Scene. I’d never been to a dungeon or even a munch (the “vanilla” social where BDSM folks meet ‘n’ greet at a restaurant or other public place). I’d never dreamed that I would actually see something that mirrored my imagination. Yet deep down, I obviously “knew” things about BDSM and about my proclivities.

From that first book, I “graduated” to stories like DISCOVERY, in which Becca signs up for a session with a Master to discover her true nature – but what she gets is not one, but three Doms, whom she must obey. And MISCHIEF NIGHT, where her oh-so-staid boss invites her to a Halloween party unlike any she’d ever attended before, where erotic tableaus come to life and invite her to participate. And WHAT SHE NEEDS, in which Delia gets up close and personal with a Dom’s dungeon and learns the pleasures of being restrained for a menage. All of these books are still available at Ellora’s Cave.

Along the way, I read books by Ellora’s Cave authors who actually lived the lifestyle and so got even more intrigued with BDSM. Then I heard about Dr. Charley Ferrer’s first BDSM for Writers Workshop Weekend in 2012 and got some in-your-face research, not only from Dr. Charley’s excellent and well-informed lectures, but from visits to Paddles, the longest-running BDSM dungeon in New York City. This was where my journey to enlightenment actually began.

Because boy, were my eyes opened!

There’s nothing like *ahem* hands-on research to delve into your characters. How else to explain the delights of receiving a flogging when your first glimpse of it prompted an “OMG, it looks like he’s whaling the sh*t out of her!” Or your own joy on giving a test subject a smile of delight as you prick him with a shish-ke-bob skewer in some delicate places? Or watching another workshop participant find her own Domme and her husband’s eyes light up as she treats him to her debut fireplay session?
All this research culminated in my brand-new release, NO PATIENCE. 

BLURB:
 My name is Roseanne and I’m an exhibitionist.

Of course I was nervous at first. Who wouldn’t be when you’re meeting a stranger for the ultimate purpose of sex?

I’m a full-figured widow and became interested in exploring BDSM via erotic romance novels. 

Almost put off by his screen name, Mr. No Patience, I answered Greg’s message because his profile on the fetish site intrigued me. I took it slow with him—a bunch of increasingly intimate emails followed by a few phone calls which, yes, evolved into phone sex when he made me orgasm to his whispered instructions and my own fingers.

But when we actually met—and clicked—at the restaurant, he started as he meant to go on, by ordering me to remove my thong and give it to him. And oh my, I blush to tell you the kinds of things I did under his tutelage. Not only in front of others, but allowing them to join us.
And now I’m impatient for more.

BIO:
I write erotic romance because I firmly believe that life doesn't stop at the bedroom door. I had a deeply romantic relationship with my husband, and I want to celebrate his memory in my writing. After he died, it took me a long time to come out of my grief, but parts of him -- his honor, courage, optimism, tenacity, and lust for life -- live on in all my heroes.
And I write erotic romance because I feel you're never too old to give or receive love. My books have taken a decided turn into BDSM and I'm enjoying the research way too much. As well, many of my stories have older heroines who dazzle younger men, and I wouldn't mind being such a heroine in real life. But that's another story...

Links:
Buy links for NO PATIENCE:
Amazon   
Sony   


8 comments:

Cara Marsi said...

Cris, how interesting. I know nothing about the BDSM lifestyle and found your research admirable. I know you had fun! Your books sound terrific, too.

Jan Springer said...

Definitely getting "No Patience"! Sounds great, Cris. Thanks for sharing the BDSM info. :-)

Hugs,

jan

Sandy said...

Some programs on TV have used the BDSM lifestyle on their shows. This was much more informative, Cris.

lisekimhorton said...

As a fellow participant with Cris in the BDSM for Writers workshop, I was thrilled to find so many wonderful like-minded folk exploring this lifestyle - and translating it into creating realistic and honest portrayals of characters participating in the lifestyle on the page of wonderful romances. And the great folks we met who had us both laughing hysterically as well as awed as they explained, explored and helped us understand. I can't wait to explore this subject in a book so that I can help readers understand that it is not a bad thing, not a sick thing, but instead a healthy lifestyle of wonderful people who just happen to be kinky. Thanks Cris! You're a great ambassador!

Fran Lee said...

Cris almost has me converted!
Hot, hot, hot!

Lynda Bailey said...

Great post, Cris! Can't wait to read NO PATIENCE.

Melissa Keir said...

Congrats on your latest release. I applaud you for doing research and expanding your thinking. I'm always fascinated by what you share. You might just inspire someone else to try things out!

Cris Anson said...

Thank you, everyone, for commenting. I truly want everyone to know that BDSM is a viable lifestyle for many folks, and it's not scary at all (unless you want it to be *grin*).

Fran, LOL! You are too funny!

Hugs and spankings to all....

Cris

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