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Thursday, July 11, 2013

Guest Blog: Vicki Batman: Isn't He Romantic? or Is He Telling a Little White Lie?

Handsome and I attended a mah-velous company convention in a tropical paradise. Lots of great food, fun, friends, and sun. The day after we came home, I had tourist's revenge. Ick.

It took a week to really get over my illness, to feel like my energy level had returned. And to look like myself, too.

So a few days later, when Handsome emailed me, asking me to go somewhere with him over lunch, I replied sure, but I wasn't all dolled up. He said, "You are always BEAUTIFUL." ( Notice the caps? He did that! Really!!)

When I looked in the mirror, I was not seeing it, especially after being sick. That got me to thinking, was he just being a great hubby and saying nice things? And if so, was he telling a little white lie? And would I want to be lied to?

Question 1: Was he just being a great hubby and saying nice things? Yeah, he was. And I adore him for that. It's romantic. I always smile and laugh and do feel beautiful.

Question 2: Was he telling a little white lie? He said he wasn't and was very emphatic after I checked. Maybe that was the whole "seeing the inner person" thingy. Okay, fine, I can live with this. Lol

Question 3: Would I want to be lied to? In this case, why not? If I felt better afterwards, works for me. However, I would never want to be lied to about Very Important Stuff. (And I wouldn't want to be lied to if the stain on my chest emphasized my bosom in a gross way.)

This speaks to the man/woman item about how we are attracted to the opposite sex's appearance initially, but what's inside them is what matters. Handsome dismissed the small outer beauty stuff and focused on the larger inner beauty me. It was sweet.

And when we write, we need to be sure our characters are true to real people's values. Some will lie to get their agenda. Others will be truthful. Some will only be attracted to outward appearances. Others will delve into real beauty.

So sigh, I fell for Handsome all over again. Like the great Rogers/Hart song goes, "Isn't he romantic?"

Here's an excerpt from "San Diego or Bust":
My boyfriend is a dirt wad. I just decided.

With a humpf, I dragged my pink tote up the narrow aisle to the plane's exit, accidentally banging it into the seats along the way. The relieving notion of being back home in Sommerville caused the tension in my chest to fade a smidgen.

A quick peek to the exit told me where Davis, my boyfriend, stood waiting for the okay from the ground crew to head out. His glance my way didn't look at all pleasant. Similar to one wrapped in disappointment with a downward tilt of his mouth.

I didn't care much. I just decided.

The words creep, jerk, moron, and “why in the hell am I still dating him??” jumbled my thoughts around. My heart pounded as anxiety ratcheted inside me again.

Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I should not put up with him anymore.

The deepest part of me knew I shouldn’t be with Davis Griffith Swansea, III any longer. I was just in denial. Over the past year, I’d had brief, momentary twinges of dumping him; then, he’d go and do something incredibly romantic like bring me Godiva chocolates—“I know how you love these.” Or buy me a new book by my favorite author—“I happened to see this today.” Or whisk me off to an intimate dinner à deux at the latest and greatest bistro--"I know you'll like this place."

My head had gone stupid.


Are little white lies harmful or okay? Does your beloved say you're beautiful even when you think you aren't?

7 comments:

Cara Marsi said...

Vicki, Handsome is a real gem. You're very lucky. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say. With romance novels and in real life, the characters may initially be attracted to the outer looks, but it's the inner person that hooks them. Looks fade, but a person's core beauty never does. And I loved San Diego or Bust.

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Hi, Cara! Thank you for the compliment about Handsome. He's like most hubbies, wonderful about 85% of the time. The rest: want to throttle him. lol

You like about looks fading, but a person's core beauty never does is very true.

And thanks for liking San Diego or Bust! That means a lot to me. hugs

Melissa Keir said...

I have to check with my hubby all the time about his comments. :) I want him to be honest, even if it hurts my feelings a little. I don't hold a grudge. I agree with Cara about beauty. I'm attracted to my hubby's intellect and sense of humor more than his looks. Those are nice but they don't make the man.

Paris said...

Vicki,
Handsome is definitely a keeper:)San Diego or Bust sounds like a gem, too!

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Hi, Melissa! I keep telling him it was the twinkle in his eye that got me. He was all serious and quiet, but that twinkle would come my way and I'd grin and know.

Hi, Paris! Most days, he's a keeper. He comes home with a "hi, beautiful," and I say, "Hi, Handsome." We grin and hug and start our chats. Thanks for posting.

Anonymous said...

Good post. Personally, I think a little white lie - especially if does not hurt anyone - is okay. And I do believe that beauty is in th eye of the beholder. But that's just my humble opinion.

Stan
SS Hampton, Sr., MIU author

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Hi, SS Hampton: Thank you. In this case, a little white lie didn't hurt. He was being his awesome self and truly, this kind is probably of benefit. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and is beyond skin deep. Great opinion, too.

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